Did he lie again?

9 p.m. Bedtime for the girls. I tuck them in, kiss and hug them goodnight. “Mommy, I love you” as I go downstairs. “I love you too, girls. Goodnight!”

Ten minutes later and Badu shows up in the living room. “Mommy, why didn’t daddy come back yet? Did he lie again?” All I can do is nod yes. I spread my arms and she runs to me. One single tear rolls down her cheek. And there we sit, hugged up on the couch, both unwillingly thinking about the same person who has hurt us in different ways.

I can’t help but think about the millions of times that I’ve been telling him, asking him, begging him to stop lying to the kids.I don’t mind him lying to me, I’m used to it and it’s honestly the only thing I expect from him. But my daughters are young, and they still believe that people are honest and keep their word. Especially when it comes to their father. A promise is a fact. Hope is truth.

He has put my girls through five years of lies, disappointments, heartache and pain. I’ve decided that it’s enough. His priorities are not in parenthood. I need to protect them from unnecessary pain. It’s not like he’s making a lot of effort to stay in touch with them. This is hard but I know that it’s for the best in the end.

But how do I explain to an 8 year old and a 6 year old that their father can’t handle the responsibility that comes with raising children? How do I tell them the truth without bashing him? How can you tell innocent children that it’s for the best to keep their father out of their lives? What words will help them understand without hurting their feelings?

I don’t really know. And I’m supposed to be good with words. But I wasn’t prepared for this. I never planned on having to deal with my children hurting over their biological father. And honestly, when I see my kids hurting, words seem to hold no weight. So up until now I try to help them make sense out of a senseless situations. By answering any question they might have. And so far hugs and kisses are our main comfort. We are like a bunch of huggy bears haha.

I do realize that I’m forced to be their mother and their father at the same time. I have to be both combined in one. But I’m not complaining. I get all the love back. A million times multiplied. I am truly blessed.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lhalhi
    Aug 10, 2011 @ 00:52:51

    One thing I can bet on is they too clever to see what he is, they might not make sense of it yet, but eventually will, sooner than you think. I trust you have raised to beautiful n way too smart n strong minded girls who know that not everybody is the same. Its great cos we live in a community, there’s many other people around them who keep their promises, who are there for them (including you) they will/already are drawing strength from that. Keep hugging n kissing n even more that you can do_never beat yourself up for it. Its his fail, never will be yours. As long as the girls know that_you are all good.

    Reply

  2. Barbara Coryn
    Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:34:36

    nice i allmost cry i think it’s hard for your children and for you
    i don’t think their is a simple way to say to them that their father have other things to do than be with his kids good luck

    Reply

  3. Sincere Prodigy
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 00:02:14

    Wow!!! I’m speechless.All I can say is that you’re an amazing mother.

    Reply

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